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speaking mcnuggets into my hands

speaking mcnuggets into my hands

finally.

finally.

Attn: Maxim

girlscout:

Look at my arm right there.  You see that?  I got that when I was 18 years old, and I’ll tell you something: I regret it, cause this tattoo don’t come off.  I have a tattoo of a cow’s head because I loved that cheese then.  So I get the cow, and I go in there and I’m a little drunk… and I said, “Gimme that cow head from that cheese, I love that cheese… ” And now I have a cow, a cheese cow on my arm, Brendan.  Don’t get a tattoo, that’s what I’m telling you.  Play soccer.  Brendan, take a look at my chest.  You know what that is right there?  That’s the woman from the Chiquita Banana.  I got that tattooed on my chest.  I am an idiot.  I’ve got trademarked products all over my body.  It’s like going to a market.  Because I was drunk one night.  Don’t live like me.

girlscout:

Look at my arm right there.  You see that?  I got that when I was 18 years old, and I’ll tell you something: I regret it, cause this tattoo don’t come off.  I have a tattoo of a cow’s head because I loved that cheese then.  So I get the cow, and I go in there and I’m a little drunk… and I said, “Gimme that cow head from that cheese, I love that cheese… ” And now I have a cow, a cheese cow on my arm, Brendan.  Don’t get a tattoo, that’s what I’m telling you.  Play soccer.  Brendan, take a look at my chest.  You know what that is right there?  That’s the woman from the Chiquita Banana.  I got that tattooed on my chest.  I am an idiot.  I’ve got trademarked products all over my body.  It’s like going to a market.  Because I was drunk one night.  Don’t live like me.

(via ghettothang)

mysavageheart:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA


I AM DONE WITH THIS WEBSITE

mysavageheart:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

I AM DONE WITH THIS WEBSITE

(Source: agirlandhisplatypus, via theoceansadventure)